To carry on with my story, I went to Port Angeles, Washington to meet Lee.  The ferry trip was excellent.  Had an opportunity to take lots of photos, including some of Lee.  He picked me up from the ferry.  We had decided that since it was almost 10 pm just to go pick up some icecream and go back to his place and watch a movie.  The movie “Monty Pythons – The Holy Grail”.  Awesome movie to watch on a first meeting.

I do have to tell you that Lee was the perfect gentleman and I never felt worried, afraid or anxious around him or even with staying at his place. It’s that gut feeling of mine finally kicking in again.  And contrary to popular belief, you can meet a guy, stay at his place and not have sexual relations LOL.

The next morning, we headed out to breakfast (we like our breakfast exactly the same way lol) then Lee took me around to see Port Angeles and surrounding areas and gave me some history about PA.  I had an excellent time and didn’t really want to head back to Victoria, BC yet but you know…obligations.  We talked a little more, held hands alot, and kissed.  Then it was time for me to head home. We have MSN’d each other a bit since.  There are many things for the two of us to consider getting into dating internationally.  We had also discussed this.

I don’t know where this is going to lead but is just dating (right now) and not classed as a relationship.  I can not commit to anyone that quickly.  I have my own demons that I am still dealing with regarding the growing pains of love and dating but I am slowly working through them.

How needing and being needed relates to internet dating?

During my marriage, I had gained about 100lbs and it has been aweful to try and get rid of it but it is slowly coming off.  When I finally decided to leave our marriage, I needed to find something to make me feel good about myself again.

That is when I got into the internet dating scene.  I needed someone to show me attention to help me feel better about myself again.  I met quite a few people, some I dated and some were, after the first date, deamed not for me.  I quickly regained my self esteem and got what I needed from the person(s) to keep me going.  I felt if this person is paying attention to me then they must need me or want me to be in their lives.  Boy was I wrong!!!  Not the best way to handle things.  I had a lot of people worried about me and how I was handling things.  And it caused me no end of heartache because I believe in love and wanted someone to love me so much I would have done almost anything to make it happen.  I had actually tried almost everything with one person… trying to hold him in my life because I believed that he was the one I was supposed to be with.  Again, boy was I wrong.  I was thinking with my heart and head and not using my gut feeling to avoid a bad situation.  He is still in my life more as an acquaintance than anything but if he ever needed anything, I would still be there for him.  And I think he would be there for me aswell.

I am now at this point in my life happy, working on being totally healthy again, energetic, and have realized that the right person will come along when it is time.  I do still meet people the old fashioned way…no computers…but the internet dating scene is good for meeting people when I really don’t have the time to get out there and socialize and meet people.  Right now, meeting people online is the fastest and easiest way for me to initially meet people to maybe get to the point of actually meeting people.

I hope this post made sense.  I have a lot of stuff going through these lines to express my whole self.  It would take a book to finish expressing myself (with a lot of repetition along the way).  I will keep you informed about my relationship status when it finally happens.

Cheers and thank you for reading