Cleaning Up The…(Part 1)

Have you ever gone through your life thinking that “This is all you are meant to be” or “How can I make a change in my life to get ahead”. First things first, you need to clear your space whether it be your thoughts, your clutter in your home, the clutter in your life and so on. Mine consisted of all of the above types.

First was the cleaning up of home clutter. Either giving away, selling or just plain getting rid of the unwantedness of stuff. I still have too much “STUFF” in my home but it is a comfortable level of stuff now.  And some what organized.   Organization is important for me.  If things go unorganized for too long, I become a bit crazy.

Next is dealing with the clutter in my mind. I am the type that gets confused about my thoughts and feelings easily.  When things or people touch my heart (and no not literally ;]) I tend to become overly attached. There are a few that can attest to this.  Give me work and I am great…no confusion. Matters of the heart…confusion ten fold.  So cleaning up matters of the heart and getting things straight in my mind. I need to be able to concentrate to be able to think and feelings tend to fog up my thinking capabilities big time.

The clutter in my life…that is a bit harder to do.  Work is the main thing in my focus and what I love to do.  Then family and friends…this is not how it should be but this is how I stay mainly sane.

Just recently I took stock of the people I care about in my life.  I realized that the people I care about are not necessarily on the same thinking scope as I am.  What do you do in this situation?  I needed to let go of those people…clean out the attic per say.  I have some regrets but I think in the long run, it will benefit the people I care about and who are in my life continuously.   The ones I can say I honestly love and respect in my life.   Thank you for being in my life.

So now I need to take stock of my life and where I want it to be.  This is my next step.  I will let you know more when I find the answers to this question.  The pre-footwork is done to think things out properly now.

TO BE CONTINUED…..

Add Sugar and All Is Well…not Always!!!

I have noticed as of late that some things I am doing are causing havoc in the daily life of some.  One of them is my moving at the end of this month.  Over the last two and a bit years, I have moved into the following:

1) Moved out of home Ex and I shared and moved in with Walter (brother)

2) Moved out of Walter’s and moved into female friend’s home

3) Moved out of female friend’s home and into an apartment

4) Moved out of apartment in Campbell River, BC and moved to house on Daisy in Victoria, BC

5) Moved out of house on Daisy to living with long-time male friend (21 years)

6) And now moving out of friend’s place (where part of time spending in Shawnigan Lake) to moving to Sidney.

That is a lot of moving in two years.  I have decided that until I have my home built or buy a new home that I will not move again for some time.

In two of these moves (one still in progress), I have strained my friendships with friends and have realized that living with your friends should never be done.  Eventhough they are truly wonderful people and I still care for them and would do anything under the sun for them, our relationships will never be the same.

My words to all…Don’t live with your friends unless you truly know you can handle it.  If you can handle it, make sure boundaries are set up between you and friend (and friend’s family if there) right away or you may run into some issues.  Most of all (and I am one to talk sometimes) make sure a line of communication is always open.  If this is not in existence, then the situation will not work.

If situation not working out, try and make the best of the time you are there until one of you moves on.  Be respectful of each other as friends.  Don’t put the friend down behind their back.  This will only lead to hurt feelings on both sides.

Now with all said, this is what is happening in my life.  Just some words of advice to help others who may be thinking about moving in with friends.

New Stuff Happening for Me!

Well, as most of you already know, I am working in the accounting field again (Details Bookkeeping Services)  and loving it.  I had a lot of anxious moments getting back into this line of work as I like to take control of things and most times take on way too much for me to handle.  This I am watching very carefully at this time as I burnt myself out over a year ago in this field before moving to Victoria, BC.  I took basically a year off getting myself back on track with work and life.  I have a great boss, a good job and work right in downtown Victoria, BC.  It’s great and I totally love it.

I am still employed with London Drugs and work one day a week for them.

I am excited to say that I am working for Western Speedway again this year in food prep and possibly in the beer gardens on Fight Night!  Food safe and Serving It Right all in place last year for this.

The next really big thing in my life is Static Image owned by Edward Gravonic (owner/photographer). He is also the special one in my life (hopefully for a long time ).

Static Image is a business where people can take their photo-memories and have them placed on a number of different types of product (mugs, water bottles, tiles, resellers for crystals (yes real…not acrylic), their headshot on a Bobblehead (reseller), and much much more).  We have acquired presses to be able to do fabric printing (T-shirts, canvas etc.).  And will also accept Logo designs to be put on product…or in the case of crystals, into crystal.  Email myself or Ed for pricing on product.  And for the larger people in life (smaller too…we can accommodate all) we will be bringing out a T-Shirt line up.  This is not on our site yet but letting people know we can do this.

Now our business line-up is not a new idea in today’s world but as everything is hand done except with pressing applications, we can tailor your order to your needs.  We are small and are very detail oriented.   Drop me a note if you or your business would like a price quote on an up and coming order you may have.  I have also been working on designing and printing of business cards, letterhead, etc….but this is new for me personally.

Our site will be going through some design changes and additions shortly to be able to let people know what we can produce for them.  If a special request is in order, let us know.  We will do our best to see what we can get for you.

www.staticimage.ca

dee@staticimage.ca

sales@staticimage.ca

edward@staticimage.ca

All in all, a pretty busy life for me right now.  And with Ed in my life, it just keeps getting better and better.   Drop me a note.  Remember…LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE, LEARN and be HAPPY.  Most of all be happy in what ever you are doing in life.  Cheers & <3 peeps!!!

Back in the daily grind of things…

And loving it. I have gone back into the accounting field again and realized finally that this is the work I love and am meant to do in life. I have had little stress since getting back into it and love working downtown.  Once it warms up a bit, will be venturing out more to photograph the city before, during (on lunch) and after work hours.

I took a break from basically life to get back on track after my separation and basically being burned out and not really knowing what I wanted in life now that my life had changed so drastically. During this break, I moved back to Victoria, BC (something I had wanted to do for a long time). I took on a few jobs and finally ended up with London Drugs. I love this job enough to have asked them to schedule me in for one day plus some on-call work. But I needed a job to keep my mind busy and keep me sharp. Accounting and bookkeeping is what does this. Details Bookkeeping Services is where I am now and in the heart of Victoria, BC. I have been blessed with finding this job and having the boss I do.

I am now back on track and ready to take on anything that comes my way.  Looking forward to everything again

Off to spend some quality relax time!!!  Cheers <3

Horoscope for Today – December 11, 2008

I opened up my MSN mail today and this is what my horoscope read. This comes from MSN Astrology – Astrocentre. Very interesting how their take on how this day should be is in conjunction with how my life actually is.  Very eerie sometimes

“Dee
Sun Sign: Libra
October 4
Edit your Profile
Today | Tomorrow | This Week | This Month
LoveRising SignCareerWellnessChinese
Your horoscope for December 11, 2008 A chance to travel, perhaps for business purposes, could present itself to you today, Dee. This might require some temporary adjustments in your personal life, but don’t let this stop you. You’ll want to make the most of whatever new opportunities come your way at this time. Career success is highly indicated, and this could make a profound and positive difference in the course your life is taking. Go for the gold!
Welcome to the Year of the Earth Ox!
Daily Planetary Overview Take care under the influence of Mars square Uranus very late tonight. Anything can happen with this… “

How I am Feeling…

Today was a day of revelation in my life on some things and has also put me into a bit of a depression in others.

I realized that I am the maker of all good and bad that happens in my life.  I have also realized that the past should remain the past…whether friends, relationships, acquaintances etc.  I finally let some of my past go today and have some reservations about it.  This person meant a lot to me…but I know I was just a pest and tormented him and usually on a day to day basis.  Thanks for putting up with me…I appreciate it.

With this said, I am at a standstill in my life on a lot of things right now and it has me wondering “What the HECK am I doing and how in the HECK do I snap out of a mini-depressed state that I am in”.

I usually listen to music which helps put me in a different frame of mind…usually a good one.  Today this is not working.  I love taking photographs but as of late photography has been the last thing on my mind.  I have posted pictures from Flickr on Twitter for people to see but I think I am doing this to get some sort of recognition…of which I really do not deserve.  I am a hobbyist photographer and usually do not need the “pat on the back” for the pictures I have taken.  Lately I do need this recognition.

I always dreamed that in my life I would have it all…a wonderful person to share my life with, a family (kids), a job I enjoy working at and recognition to validate these things in my life.  I am 41 years old now, almost divorced, no kids but I have a job I like doing.  I have been dating people for the last year and half and meeting lots of interesting people that I try to keep as friends if I can…mainly because they are great people in general.

But it all comes down to “Am I happy?” and “What am I going to do to make the changes in my life I need?”  I have ideas and am going to putting these ideas into play between now and the New Year and see where I am in a few months.  Everything takes time…this I know.  I am living day by day at this time in my life and until I get a handle on me, it will be day to day for awhile.

Hugz to all who read this and the only thing I have to say is:

LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE, LEARN and be HAPPY!!!  Don’t take your life for granted and make sure you let the ones closest to you know how much they mean to you.  Love to all.  <3

Waking up…

What do you do when you wake up in the morning and realize that “OMG…I am going to be fourty one soon!”?  Where did the time go?  What have I done in my life?  What do I still want to do, see, explore and experience?  This is what I was thinking this morning as my birthday is tomorrow.

Well, I decided that for me I need to get into work that I love.  Photography and electronic sales.  I loved the retail end of things and just recently got accepted for a position in this field.  I am really excited.  I will continue to do accounting / bookkeeping through contract work.  This is to keep my hand in this field.

The next thing is to continue on with schooling.  This will either be in accounting or computers/electronics as the interest is there.  I may even take courses on marketing.  I would love this.  This is in the works starting in January of 2009.

I really have a desire to get back into volunteer work.  When I volunteered my services to the Royal Canadian Legion Branch #137 Ladies’ Auxiliary, I loved the work they did.  I loved the community involvement and seeing what changes we were able to make or help with.  I will look into this more in the 2009 year.

And last, to find that special person to love and spend the rest of my life with.  This I am working on right now

Sometimes I have lofty goals in life for myself but I find that this motivates me and helps me to do better in my life.  To keep me focused and on track is very important to me.

Lets see where this all leads.  Cheers!!! <3

Making Mistakes In Life…Regrets or No Regrets!

Lately I have been thinking about all of the things that have transpired in my life and dealings with people.  With this I have realized that I have made many mistakes, especially this last year.  Most of my mistakes have to do with relationships (being friendship or otherwise).  How come things have to be so hard all of the time?  Well, part of it is me…I speak my mind on matters when I see fit.  And sometimes when I shouldn’t as well.

I am the type of person that will voice my opinions, good, bad or indifferent, when I see fit.  I will get in a debate when I so choose and in a topic that I know about and can debate properly. I will tell a friend off at a moments notice knowing that I might lose that person from my life.  I speak what is on my mind.  Sometimes not a good thing but if I can make that person think about what I said, then at least it was worth it.

So with this said above, I guess there is really only one regret I have…losing friendship because of these traits of mine.  But with that said, I am not going to change my ways for anyone unless they are going to try and accept me for who I am right off the start.  This lesson I learned while married.  I didn’t have this respect in my marriage.

I have come to the conclusions that even though many people may view me as not their equal (could be intellect, status, emotionally,etc) I am a smart, intelligent person with a heart of gold.  Please don’t judge me because I don’t necessarily want to sit around and talk politics 24/7, tech 24/7, cameras 24/7…the list may go on and on.  I like many avenues of life…not just what you may like.

I want to enjoy life and all that life has to offer and now I am trying to find ways to do this.  Just let me be and don’t try to change me.  Join me!!!

Making Changes

For some time now I have wanted to do the things that I have wanted to, be with the person I have wanted to be with and have the life I have wanted.  Just be genuinely happy with my life.  For the most part I am…but there is always room for change.

Since moving down to Victoria, BC I have been able to take the time to return to myself (with a lot of growing pains in the process) and am finding out that there are still many things that I want to do and see…and people I want to rekindle a friendship with.  I realize that I can’t turn back time and relive my life but I sure can make the life I have now better and more of what I want it to be.

I have decided to return to school and try to become a CGA (certified general accountant) starting with online courses I can take, try to finish losing the weight I gained when I was married, get more involved in volunteer work again, and get my footing back in the world of technology.  Not so much lofty goals but they are all things that will take a bit of time to finish or relearn.

I realized this when out the other day with a friend.  I was playing chess with him and I had basically forgotten the strategy of the game.  Not the moves each piece can make but the actual strategic movements of the game.  I was crushed and actually a bit embarrassed because I used to play chess quite well when younger.  I was not a worthy opponent LOL!!!

This has caused me to take a look at some avenues of my life and try and figure out how to get the things I want in life.  I can change my thought process to get the things I want.  The only thing I know will come when I am not looking for it is love.  This comes when you least expect it not when you are looking for it

So in saying this, I am on another journey of me!!!  Looking forward to the excitement, energy, beauty and knowledge that this world has to offer me.  It is mine for the taking…I just need to grab that golden ring on the carousel of life.

Have an awesome week!!!  I will write when I return.  Cheers!!!

My Experiences with Internet Dating!!! (Part 2 of 2)

To carry on with my story, I went to Port Angeles, Washington to meet Lee.  The ferry trip was excellent.  Had an opportunity to take lots of photos, including some of Lee.  He picked me up from the ferry.  We had decided that since it was almost 10 pm just to go pick up some icecream and go back to his place and watch a movie.  The movie “Monty Pythons – The Holy Grail”.  Awesome movie to watch on a first meeting.

I do have to tell you that Lee was the perfect gentleman and I never felt worried, afraid or anxious around him or even with staying at his place. It’s that gut feeling of mine finally kicking in again.  And contrary to popular belief, you can meet a guy, stay at his place and not have sexual relations LOL.

The next morning, we headed out to breakfast (we like our breakfast exactly the same way lol) then Lee took me around to see Port Angeles and surrounding areas and gave me some history about PA.  I had an excellent time and didn’t really want to head back to Victoria, BC yet but you know…obligations.  We talked a little more, held hands alot, and kissed.  Then it was time for me to head home. We have MSN’d each other a bit since.  There are many things for the two of us to consider getting into dating internationally.  We had also discussed this.

I don’t know where this is going to lead but is just dating (right now) and not classed as a relationship.  I can not commit to anyone that quickly.  I have my own demons that I am still dealing with regarding the growing pains of love and dating but I am slowly working through them.

How needing and being needed relates to internet dating?

During my marriage, I had gained about 100lbs and it has been aweful to try and get rid of it but it is slowly coming off.  When I finally decided to leave our marriage, I needed to find something to make me feel good about myself again.

That is when I got into the internet dating scene.  I needed someone to show me attention to help me feel better about myself again.  I met quite a few people, some I dated and some were, after the first date, deamed not for me.  I quickly regained my self esteem and got what I needed from the person(s) to keep me going.  I felt if this person is paying attention to me then they must need me or want me to be in their lives.  Boy was I wrong!!!  Not the best way to handle things.  I had a lot of people worried about me and how I was handling things.  And it caused me no end of heartache because I believe in love and wanted someone to love me so much I would have done almost anything to make it happen.  I had actually tried almost everything with one person… trying to hold him in my life because I believed that he was the one I was supposed to be with.  Again, boy was I wrong.  I was thinking with my heart and head and not using my gut feeling to avoid a bad situation.  He is still in my life more as an acquaintance than anything but if he ever needed anything, I would still be there for him.  And I think he would be there for me aswell.

I am now at this point in my life happy, working on being totally healthy again, energetic, and have realized that the right person will come along when it is time.  I do still meet people the old fashioned way…no computers…but the internet dating scene is good for meeting people when I really don’t have the time to get out there and socialize and meet people.  Right now, meeting people online is the fastest and easiest way for me to initially meet people to maybe get to the point of actually meeting people.

I hope this post made sense.  I have a lot of stuff going through these lines to express my whole self.  It would take a book to finish expressing myself (with a lot of repetition along the way).  I will keep you informed about my relationship status when it finally happens.

Cheers and thank you for reading